jason hirschhorn's thoughts

A Note from @JasonHirschhorn: Boy Did I F*ck Up!

Dear Media ReDEFined Fans,

WARNING: What you are about to read qualifies as an "overshare".

I want to apologize for not sending out the newsletter these past few days. Let me explain what happened.

I woke up one morning in early April to find that I had double vision. After a lot of doctors, MRIs and tests it seems to have been brought about by not controlling my Type 2 Diabetes. This caused, so the doctors say, nerve damage in my eye which caused Diplopia, or double vision.

It's been my own private hell. Walking around, watching TV, let alone curating has been rough. It won't heal for about another 3 months if at all. If not, I have to have surgery. I've learned some tricks and workarounds in the last 2 weeks which have helped. But my eyesight seems to jump all over the place daily. It's actually quite fascinating if it wasn't happening to me.

This will sound incredibly stupid... But, guess what? You need your eyesight! I suppose double vision would be great if I were on a nude beach full of supermodels. But that's not quite what I'm living right now. :-)

The newsletter resumes today. I know you depend on it and I apologize for missing a few days, the only ones I've missed in around 6+ years.

I've also codified a bit of how I do this each day and will soon be bringing some great staff on and launching some new content categories as I realize a product dream I've had for many years.

One important note, Media ReDEFined is available on Twitter at @MediaReDEF and Facebook here. In addition, beautiful visual app-based versions are available on Flipboard under "Cool Curators" and Pulse under "Technology". Those versions are updated hourly regardless of the newsletter send. Be forewarned that the volume of articles on those platforms are about 2-3x of what you see in the newsletter.

So, I f*cked my health up good. That's the last time it will happen. It truly scared me enough to pay attention and I am getting it under control. My blood sugar is almost back to normal and I've lost about 25 lbs.

I'm a so-called type-A person. Almost anything I have control over I will do well. But to paraphrase the great Tom Petty: "the waiting (for the eyesight) is the hardest part". That's all I can do.

The upside of all this is the reminder that I have good friends and family who have checked-in on me when I've been in a, let's say, irritable mood.

I'll save my newly formed thoughts on doctor bedside manner and the health insurance industry for another post.

Now back to the amazingly crazy and ever-changing world of media and technology. For those of you not subscribed to Media ReDEFined, you can do that here.

Thank you for your support and patience.

JH.

You Sold Your Company, What Did You Buy First? Here's What I Did.

Having some money all of a sudden is a weird thing. I've always wondered what entrepreneurs do when they hit it. What do they buy, If at all? How do they react to new found ducats?

Does life become a 90s rap video? Cham' bustin' 24-7?

I basically had no money in my twenties.

I was luckier than most, my parents helped with the rent and I had spending cash via the web design firm I started in 1995, Mischief New Media. My clients were "major" record labels and I designed websites for their aritsts. I wasn't that great and soon as the web started taking off they brought those things in-house. But I had a knack for product development and saw an opening for better uber-music destinations in a landscape that had few good ones.  So on the side, I started building music sites I would use. RockOnTV, MusicNewsWire, MusicStation just to name a few. 

I got lucky and 5 years later sold my company to MTV Networks. All those sites were rolled into SonicNet.com, the biggest music site around at the time. Now all defunct!

All of the sudden I had some money.

What did I do first?

While in my lawyer's office I made a copy of the check. Then found what I thought to be the mailing address of the principal that kicked me out of school before my senior year. I wrote "F*CK YOU" on the check and mailed it. I don't know if she ever got it. But 11 years after high school graduation, I had some closure. Yes, I held a grudge but now I was over it. It's a longer story of trust, betrayal, power gone mad, evils of authority and not for this post. :-) She represented all the people that didn't believe in me. Deep breath and now back to the story...

And the money... what did I do with the money?

2 things I remember vividly.

First, I called my mom up and said something like this...

Me: It's done. I just sold the company to MTV.

Mom: Oh, my god! Oh, my god! I'm so proud of you!

Me: Bring every bill, everything you owe over to my place tonight. We're gonna write some checks.

Mom: Are you serious? (SCREAMING)

Me: Yes, see you later.

So, Mom did just that. And for about an hour that night we wrote checks for credit card bills, rent, school, personal loans... you name it.

Buying things is certainly a lot of fun. Travel, cars, all that big pimpin' stuff. But at the end of the day, if you can help or give back to those that did the same for you... well, that rocks. It's a great feeling. More importantly, my mom was directly responsible for my product chops. When I was about 3 years old, She bought me a huge box of building blocks. Simple, made of wood, lots of shapes. There is no doubt in my mind that playing with those blocks shaped my creativity. They made me think about structure, balance, systems and more. She always made sure we had what we needed, she went without and worked hard to provide for us.

To this day, it's the proudest moment of my life.

The second thing? Well, let me step back here...

When you're an entrepreneur putting it all on the line, as least with me, I worked constantly. For 5 years. 18 Hour days. Getting out very little. Always thinking about work. Work, work, work. When you have one of these events, like selling, you can go a little crazy for a second. It's not over, there is more to do to realize the dream. But it's a moment where you get dizzy for a second. And I sort of reverted back to childhood for a few weeks. How so? I went on EBay and bought what I remember to be thousands of Matchbox cars. Why? Who the f*ck knows. I liked them when I was 5 years old. My mom used to buy me one a week. It was a good memory from simpler times. Now? I was a man-child with cash and clearly no idea what to do with it.

So, I'm sitting in my apartment and these boxes start coming in. I mean tons of them. Unopened collections of f*cking Matchbox cars. I opened one, took a deep breath and just started laughing. What the hell was I thinking? There was no way I was able to return these. My small apartment was filled with toy cars. What now?

I went out to get something to eat a few days later and I noticed the lobby of my building had these huge bins for a children's toy drive. I turned around, got the wheely pushcart in the lobby and went back to my apartment. I loaded the boxes of cars up and within a few trips had given all of them away. Mostly unopened. In these digital times, needy kids probably thought... what moron is giving me a miniature car? I want Nintendo DS! 

And so goes my few weeks of reverting to childhood nuttiness.

Yes, I ended up getting the car and the home. I've bought hundreds of pairs of sneakers that put Quincy Smith's collection to shame. I've traveled to all sorts of great places. I love buying stuff for my nieces and nephew. I've pretended to be an angel investor... And yes, of course, I've donated to causes (I'm not totally selfish)... mostly having to do with education (see www.cfy.org). But these are the 2 things I remember most.

So what did you do? Tell your stories...

-JH